Feeling defeated, writing this over a half empty glass of wine, it’s hard to believe the sentiment that a woman doesn’t need a man.
It’s an age old problem, one that it seems there’s no solution to. Girl meets boy, boy turns out to be an absolute %#$@ (insert at your pleasure).
Not long ago, I returned from Australia and with not only the weather being dry, I was adamant I’d come home, find a man and choose the nice boy for once.
This was my first mistake. Under normal circumstances, I’d be the over-opinionated friend that discouraged people from engaging with sought out affection – it lacks passion, excitement and genuine interest.
My second mistake? Rekindling an old fling that I knew wouldn’t end well for him. Intelligent, handsome, funny – I’d convinced myself that I could make myself fall for him. But, like a male praying mantis after mating season, he was destined to be eaten alive.
However, the above were not my major downfalls. That was my third mistake. Picking the ‘nice boy’.
And this really is the trouble with girls. Our incessant need to pick trouble and tears over niceness. It’s not that we’re looking for upset, it’s that we don’t want ease. After all, a challenge is a far more appealing prospect.
So once again, I find myself in a situation I don’t want to be in. But one I’ve orchestrated with my nativity of choosing the wrong man.
I’ve spent weeks domesticating a feral man. Distancing himself from any signs of emotion, I thought I’d begun to coax him round to the idea that, perhaps, women aren’t so bad after all.
Predictably karma came back to bite me in my rather shapely behind. He got his cake, ate it, then chucked what was left in the bin (I’m the cake…).
But can I blame the boy? No. It was my idiocy that allowed me to fall victim to his lack of care. I could have had security and predictability with the ‘nice boy’ but I chose danger and instability, reinforcing the stereotype that the bad boys always win.
If you’re reading this and you’re like “OMG she is me”, you’re probably not alone.
Not taking the easy way out and leaving empty handed isn’t failure. It just means that our judgement is still developing. Yes, I picked two wrong people for very different reasons but I’m still learning the ways of love (or lust at least).
There is one certainty though, I haven’t learnt my lesson.
Images via Giphy.