My femininity is failing me.

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As I cooked pasta and prepared a ready-made sauce last night, I realised I’m the worst example of an archetypal female that ever was. Last week I came home to buckets of homemade elderflower pressé brewing in my kitchen. My housemate is very talented; she’s a busy career woman, yet successfully keeps a menagerie of plants alive […]

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Mo’ money, mo’ problems.

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Staring into the empty eyes of my fellow passengers on the central line this morning, I could barely stop myself from retching. Mum – before you frantically call me asking when my last period was, I can tell you that this sickness is coming from a different place. This wave of all-consuming nausea comes from, […]

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Sometimes they don’t know best.

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When I was 16, my mum told me I shouldn’t use an epilator on my bikini line. I didn’t listen to her, and that was a momentous mistake. She also gently suggested that, perhaps, bleached, distressed denim jeans were not the most flattering choice. For these sound pieces of advice, I am thankful. But sometimes, […]

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A poem: show me yours, I’ll show you mine.

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I wanted to tell you something, I thought about writing a letter, But I know you think I’m boring, So I thought a poem might be better. Believe it or not, I haven’t written someone a poem before, Limirick, haiku, couplet or sonnet, Never – especially not for someone I now deplore, Before it turned sour, […]

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Things women say to other women that they don’t really mean.

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Women have this weird habit of saying things they don’t mean to other women. I can say this because I am a woman, and I often say things I don’t really mean to other women. I’m sure men do it too, like when they say, “go for it mate, she’s definitely interested”, or, “I mean, it’s […]

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Babe in a back brace.

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Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down, and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I’ll tell you how I can’t sit down for too long because I’m in excruciating and relentless pain. For the past five months or so, there’s been a bone […]

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